Packing Tension

This will strike some of you as odd, but one of my goals for the trip is to live in poverty for the next six weeks. Part of it is a small act of solidarity with the folks who live in Kibeho, though let’s be honest–it’s way different when at any moment I can yank out a credit card and change my flight home to whatever comfort I am missing. Poverty isn’t quite the same when you have an easy escape route.

A bigger part for me is to abandon myself into the loving hands of God and Mary. True surrender. To accept with a grateful hand whatever the Lord desires to place in it each day. This kind of surrender is great in theory, but I almost never live it to the level I feel I should. I thought this trip to Rwanda might provide me an opportunity to really lean on Him.

Why, then, is packing so hard? I am going to a place where the average person probably doesn’t own seven outfits total, and here I am trying to decide if seven outfits is enough! And if seven IS enough, which seven of the 21 polos or 21 t-shirts or 15 sweatshirts and 12 pairs of shorts should I pack?

My oldest son, Nick, sent me one of those short videos from social media of a guy packing for a trip. He thinks to himself, “Let’s see…four-day trip, I should need four shirts, four pants and four pair of underwear.” He starts to walk away all packed up, but then he pauses…”What if I poop myself?” (my G-rated version). So he goes back to grab another pair of underwear. Again he starts to leave the room, but then pauses once more…”What if I poop myself twice?” And so on until he has packed twice the underwear he needs.

There is a part of me that wants to pack so as to cover every possible contingency. So often I go on trips and come home unpacking clean clothes that never made it out of the suitcase. I am resolved to not overpack for this trip. Still, there is a strong tendency in me to want to pack everything I own just in case.

Lord, provide for me what I need for the next six weeks. Give me the courage to trust in you, and not try to control every possibility. Help me to leave behind the expectations of this culture and detach willingly from all this world has to offer. May I fully trust your Son’s prayer: Give me this day my daily bread. Amen.

Now off to finish packing. I leave tomorrow!